


A Moment of Solace

by orphan_account



Category: Bumblebee (Movie), Transformers (Bay Movies), Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Minor Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-25
Updated: 2018-12-25
Packaged: 2019-09-27 04:00:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17154908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: While it seemed like she would recover, she trips, and although it looks like she’ll never get back up, a certain little friend might just be able to help her up.





	A Moment of Solace

**Author's Note:**

> Well, there’s a new ship in town, and while I may be new to this website, I sure as hell am gonna help fill this place up with fanfictions.

★·.·´¯`·.·★·.·´¯`·.· ★·.·´¯`·.· ★·.·´¯`·.·★·.·´¯`·.·★

❝мαувє ι вєℓσиg αмσиg тнє ѕтαяѕ ᴡιтн уσυ.❞

★·.·´¯`·.·★·.·´¯`·.· ★·.·´¯`·.· ★·.·´¯`·.·★·.·´¯`·.·★

~

She wishes she can say that she floats in her dreams, that she is able to conquer her nightmares, but then that would just be a lie. Even in her waking moments, reality feels like a nightmare, as if everything is slightly thrown off course. 

The world isn’t fully on its axis, well, at least, her world. Everything is normal looking, everyone acts normal, the California sun shines as brightly as before, the ocean and sky are as blue as ever, and her job and school still haven’t changed - it’s the same, boring cycle of repetition. A continuous ritual of disappointment, where every time she feels a spark of hope, it leads to being crushed. Just when she thinks things are going to be different and better, they end up being the opposite. 

Three months have passed since she has last seen Bumblebee. Three, long, torturous months. Her mom and Rob choose to pretend that the period of time where she had been hunted down by the military and had survived a high speed car chase is just her teenage imagination gone rampant - which is the stupidest thing she had ever heard because they witnessed everything. She guesses that some people would rather forget every bad thing that’s happened to them instead of facing it head on. At least her brother asks her ever now and then where her car has gone. But, besides her brother and Memo, no one seems to remember what happened only months ago. She feels lonelier than ever. 

Charlie’s world is slowly draining of all its color and happiness again, and the familiar dreadful ooze of black’s, gray’s, and white’s are returning, but this time she welcomes it like an old friend. It’s the only thing that brings her some amount of relief, and it provides enough warmth to last through the coldest nights alone in her bedroom. The invisible monotone visor she wears every single day that blocks her eyes is now her main accessory, and she flaunts it, as if it is the most expensive thing in the world. 

In that moment, she lays in her bed, the covers wrapped tightly around her thin frame, as if they can protect her from the harsh and unfair injustice that is called the Earth. Her tears have long since dried, dusty lines that streak her face, once silent waterfalls but now dry as a barren desert. 

Darkness eats at the corners of her vision, more deadly and intoxicating than the actual darkness surrounding her. They threaten to engulf her, and she wonders for a moment what would happen if she let it. 

No one understands this young soul. They can’t see past her sadness, past the salt-crusted battle scars and lovely little lies she’s told everyone about being fine and i’m doing great, i’m recovering. But as long as she’s blossoming and smiling again, then it doesn’t matter. They don’t bother seeing the cracks forming in her heart and spirit. They won’t realize that she’s slowly suffocating in her own body until it’s too late. 

The thing is . . . she misses him. She misses him so goddamn much. That damn yellow bugger who was the only person, no, soul, who could reach her in the cage she’d build to hide herself. He crept into her life, optics full of innocence and with no ill intent, and tore away everything without meaning to. He reached a hand between the bars of her prison and unlocked it, letting out a torrent of emotions and fears. He blew her away, and then he disappeared, and left her to pick up what little pieces of the girl she’d once been there was. He left her to do this alone. Did he not realize what that would cause? What the effect would be? No, she can’t blame him. It’s not his fault. Only hers, for letting him in when she knew all along he would only leave. 

Charlie can’t blame him anymore, and she’s running out of people to blame, so she just goes on ahead and blames it on her. For a moment, there’s a flicker of the fire she once had and it flares up, her eyes narrowing as she glares out into the darkness. But it’s gone as quickly as it has appears. 

The house sleeps. Her mother, Ron, and her brother are all tucked away in the nooks and crannies, and while she wants to call out for them, she can’t bring herself to do it. Besides, it’s not like they would hear anyway.

When she can’t take it anymore, she kicks off the sheets, letting them wilt to the floor, but she immediately regrets it. She’s cold again. Colder than before, and the darkness creeps closer, slimy tongues darting out, already tasting her fear. She hates it. So much. She wants to ask for help. But how do you ask people who don’t even see you for help? Charlie knows she’s a mirror. She’s a reflection of what everyone wants her to be. Her mother sees her once talented swimmer daughter who had the potential to be in the Olympics one day, now a complete and utter failure. Ron sees her as the daughter of his new wife who needs to smile more. And the world sees her as an oddity. The last one who picks up trends. The only one not invited to parties. She doesn’t care. Not anymore.

She always wonders where he is. What he’s doing, if he found his friends, if he’s won the war on his planet, if he’s even still on this world. _He probably already left,_ she tells herself, and she believes it. After all, it’s not like he tried to contact her. _He can’t!_ The thought brings a sob up, and she pushes it down. He can’t. The government is always watching, always searching, and she doubts they’ll ever stop. 

The end of high school is right around the corner, and she still hasn’t submitted any college applications. How can she? Her whole life is in shambles. She can’t even bring herself to rise from her bed anymore. She hasn’t been going to school for a couple of days, claiming she has the flu. She even went as far as using the old “heating-a-thermometer” trick on her mom, and to her surprise, it worked. It’s probably because her mom is tired of her. But, she can’t blame her. She’s tired too.

Charlie groans, and turns, burying her head in her pillow, trying to block out any thoughts of her old friend. It doesn’t do her any good, and another forbidden thought slinks in, _how was he fixed, but not I?_ How was he fixed wholly in body and spirit, but not her? How did it leave her even more broken than before? 

She should’ve gone with him. If she had accepted his offer, she would’ve been out of California faster than she could blink, and somewhere else, someplace where no one knows who Charlie Watson is. A place where she could finally start over, be the person she wants to be remembered for. But, you can’t change the past, now can you?

When she can’t take the deafening silence any longer, she sits up violently, swinging her legs over the side of the bed, her body trembling from head to toe, as she struggles to hold back tears, her teeth gritted to keep the soft sobs that threaten to erupt. She needs someone, someone to take her in their arms and tell her it’ll be alright, that they’re here for her and that they won’t leave . . . like her dad and Bee, like everyone important to her. She doesn’t want it as a romantic gesture, she just wants them to be two people who’re hugging each other because they need to hold someone who’s living and breathing and because they’re touch-starved. Is that so much to ask? 

She doesn’t want pity or sympathy. She doesn’t want someone to feel bad for her. She wants someone to understand her, to understand the broken girl she’s become, because she’s not even sure she knows herself anymore, and it scares her, so much. As the tears begin to fall, she hears a soft knock on her window, and looks up, vision blurry with her tears. 

Two glowing blue optics stare back at her, and her breath catches in her throat as she chokes. She blinks hard, once, twice, a third time. No, her mind isn’t playing tricks on her, but she still can’t believe what she’s seeing. It’s really him. Living and waiting for her. What is this? What is happening? 

She stumbles over to the window, and struggles to get it open, but desperation eats away at her stomach, and it gives her a strength that she never thought she had and she gets it open, holding back a cry she wants to let out when she sees his face in the dark. So familiar, so comforting, but so saddening as well. It’s a reminder of what she once had, and that’s when she can’t take it anymore. Charlie Watson can’t be strong any longer. She’s been strong for too long. 

A worried thrill comes from the yellow bugger as she begins crying, harder than she’s ever cried. She breaks down in front of him, with him staring into her bedroom, panicking, not knowing what to do. He does the only thing he can think of. He takes her gently in his arms, aware of her fragile body, out of her bedroom and into the open.

His reaction makes her cry even harder, but she welcomes the embrace like her life depends on it, because in a way, it does. She lets it cradle and carry her away. He holds her for a long time, and the only sound she can hear is the soft humming of his gears shifting and his spark beating rhythmically from beneath his chassis. 

Once her tears have stopped, and her trembling has stilled, she finally gathers enough courage to look him in the optic. He watches her, optics round with concern and tenderness, and he waits, not wanting to scare her away. She thanks him a thousand times in her mind, and stays there, in his arms for a while longer, feeling content for the first time in forever. 

Finally, she speaks. “Hey, Bee . . . “ but she doesn’t know what else to say or how to explain what just happened. 

_Charlie ..._ her mom’s voice comes from his radio, and she flinches at the sound, and his optics widen as he struggles to fix his mistake, suddenly flustered. She almost laughs. Still as innocent as ever. 

She calms him down by placing a warm hand on the side of his face, forcing him to look at her, and he meets her dull gaze, and he notices it’s missing the fire and life she once had. What happened to her? 

_You ... okay ... ?_ he switches through radio stations quickly, trying to find the right words. It’s still a bit hard, and he needs more practice, but she can understood what he’s trying to say. He wants to know what happened and why she’s not the same Charlie he remembers. She remembers now. She was a completely different person, not completely broken, and still full of bark and bite. Now she’s none of those. She doesn’t know what she is anymore. 

“I . . . ” her voice catches, but she pushes forward because he deserves an explanation and because she needs one too. “I went over the edge of the map.” 

His head quirks to the side, not understanding what the words mean, but understanding that it isn’t good. He’s quiet, and that pushes her to try to continue the best she can. 

“When you left,” she says, not able to look at him anymore, “it looked like I was getting better for a while, and I thought I was recovering too, but, then something happened. I don’t know what. But it was something. Suddenly, my whole life spiraled out of control, and I couldn’t do anything about it. I missed my dad . . . and you so much, and it was worse than before. I guess it sort of destroyed me.” 

She’s ashamed, he can tell, but he doesn’t want her to feel like that. It’s normal to miss the ones we love and care about, and he doesn’t blame her. He missed her too. It was hard to even get into California again to see her. The military is relentless in their searching, but he did it, for her. 

As she feels the familiar sting of tears again, she rubs her eyes, trying to push down the overwhelming feeling in her chest. She can’t cry again. Not in front of him. Abruptly, she feels something raising her chin, and she sees him again, he’s using one of his fingers to make her look at him. He wants her to continue, but he doesn’t want to push her. He’s not mad at her, she realizes this, and it gives her the strength to go on. 

“I missed you so goddamn much, Bee,” she cries, throwing her arms back around him and burying her face into his neck, trembling again, she’s not even cold, but she’s scared. “I was so worried about you. I thought you had maybe gotten hurt or died! I just wanted my friend back. And, it was so selfish of me.” 

When she pulls back from the hug, there’s a question in his optics. _What ... do ... you ... mean?_ he asks, confused on how she was being selfish and why she would even think like that. He doesn’t like her thinking like that. She’s the most selfless person he’s ever met. 

She shakes her head. “I was selfish. You had more important things to worry about than me. You had a home, friends, family, a whole other life, and I wanted you to stay. I wanted to take that away from you, and I couldn’t. Because then you would’ve been unhappy. And if the cost is my ruin, then so be it. You, of all people, er, aliens deserve happiness.”

Her face is serious, and she means every word, no matter how much her heart hurts. Humans were always selfish creatures to begin with, but she feels more selfish than the others. She feels like a failure. She can’t even get over a single alien robot, and she expects to get though life? No, she’s a complete and utter disaster. 

When she raises her head away, still wallowing in self-pity, she’s taken aback by the anger in his optics. For a moment she thinks he’s mad at her, but she soon realizes it’s because of her doubts. 

_You ... are ... the ... most ... important ... person ... in ... my ... life ..._ there is an emphasis on the last word, and it’s undercut with an annoyed beep, to confirm that he means every single word. He wishes he could tell her in great detail that she’s not selfish, she’s the opposite, that she’s the most beautiful person he’s ever seen and how much he missed her too, and he curses in that moment his lack of a voice box.

She can tell that he wants to say more, but his speech is limited, even with such a wide assortment of radio stations. But, then again, some words are better left unsaid.

Charlie knows that no one would understand why she would miss a giant robot who could easily crush her, but she doesn’t care. He’s a better friend that any human she’s ever met. He’s better than human. And he’s hers, for eternity, and she doesn’t care who says otherwise. His words are a revelation, but that shouldn’t have surprised her. He’s shown her countless times how much he cares about her, and sometimes she wonders if it is more than just friendship, but maybe something deeper. She’s not going to ask, because it’s not the right time, and because she’s too afraid. 

She sits in his open hand for some time, a small smile flickering on her sullen face, and she looks back at him, finding him already staring at her. When he realizes she notices, he looks away, slightly embarrassed. He’s like a little kid, and that makes her snort. She’s shocked, and so is he. Maybe not all is lost. Maybe she’s still in there somewhere, deep down. And, maybe he’s the right alien to coax her back out with care and precision. 

But, just as everything in life, all great moments have to end, and Bumblebee has to leave. This time, she isn’t sad. This time she isn’t crying. As he sets her back into her room, she finally smiles, and a soft chirp comes from him in return, earning a chuckle from her. 

It doesn’t matter that she is broken, it doesn’t matter that she may never see him again. Somehow, they will find each other again and no one will be able to stop them. 

She waves goodbye, and caresses the side of his face gently, he leaning into her touch, his optics fluttering close for a moment, before reopening and he backs away. 

_One ... day ... at ... a ... time,_ he tells her, and she gives him a thumb’s up, smiling widely. One day a time. Charlie can do that. She will stop moping around, stop feeling sorry for herself. If she wants things to change, she has to change them herself. And, that’s exactly what she’s going to do. 

She knows that it will be hard for Bee to see her again with the government always watching and looking, but they will manage. And besides, who knows, maybe after college, she will go and join him, maybe she’ll take him up on his offer to leave San Francisco, California. 

“Until next time, buddy,” she says, and his head bobs up and down in excitement, already thinking of the next time that they will see each other. 

It isn’t a goodbye, but a farewell for now, and this brings a warm feeling into her chest. She raises one hand as a last farewell, and Bee pumps a fist in the air, just like in the movie they had seen together, and she rolls her eyes playfully. 

He transforms instantaneously, and as his engine turns on, rumbling like thunder, he drives off and she watches him vanish into the rising sun, taking off down the road, heading back from wherever he has come from. 

Charlie Watson isn’t one to give up, and she sure as hell isn’t going to let the military keep her apart from her friend. No one is going to mess with her again, and she is going to make damn sure of that.

**Author's Note:**

> As you can see, this is my first post. Hello! I’m niuu, it’s nice to meet everyone. Well, I hope you enjoyed!


End file.
